FilmNerd3

A mixed bag, as usual. Good overall though.

Posted by: Task, September 12, 2005 04:25 AM

Sunday, September 11 9:00 PM ROYAL ONTARIO MUSEUM

This is the only short program I'm seeing this year, I'm having great difficulty with their whole "we can pick 10 shorts you want to see!" philosophy, because the people who pick these and package them are retarded. This one was the best looking collection and guess what? It was sold out! Anyway, that rant over with, on with the reviews...

A Half Man : Overall rating = Nothing special.
A very strange piece that is interesting because of the "claymation"-type of filming they're doing. And not much interesting for any other reason. Interesting, but overall pointless.
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Day of John : Overall rating = Fantastic!
My favourite one, the best but only by a small amount. This short has it all: guns, swords, mafia, and demons. Have you seen a movie where a large bunch of unconnected things all come together in an amazing way? Like in Minority Report when he's leading the psychic around and she's telling him all the things he has to do? It's kind of like that. So not just a great story here, but the way it's put together is downright brilliant. Top marks!
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A Little Death - Cut Keith Cole : Overall rating = Gay.
Seriously, filmmakers out there: if you're going to make a movie, and all it is from beginning to end is "gay", you might want to think about adding in something else. Like that gay cowboy short from last year, sure it was gay but it also had cowboys. Cowboys, Ray! Cowboys! And one of them gave birth to a horse, so that was pretty cool. This short though? It just sucked.
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Still Life : Overall rating = Freak-out eerie awesome!
This is the freakiest thing I've seen since Exorcist 3 or Mothman, and it's less than 10 minutes long!
This guy is driving and popping pills and drinking coffee to stay awake. He runs low on gas as he passes through a small town. The woman sitting on that bench over there, she looks kind of strange... He goes for a long second take on her and while he's realizing that she's actually a mannequin dressed up like a lady he hits something. Stopping the car and rushing outside, he finds that he's hit a mannequin. Weirded out, he goes into a nearby diner. And it's filled with mannequins, posed at tables and even posed to take orders. There's food and everything. Meanwhile, he hears a siren approaching. So he looks out the window, but he can't see anything. When he looks back into the strange diner, suddenly all the mannequins are staring at him. Wow! Freaky thrills just like that! And it goes on from there to a great conclusion.
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The Racist Brick : Overall rating = Uniquely hilarious.
This little movie is damn funny. Clever and original, with a great actor in front of the camera, I'd definitely see more things by these guys.
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Patterns : Overall rating = Desperately Seeking Plot.
Weird movie, kind of interesting, but ultimately pointless. Great setting, and the leading lady is good, but you should have an idea before you make a movie.
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The True Story of Sawney Beane : Overall rating = Well done.
An interesting fairy tale told with an interesting animation method. Quite enjoyable. Contains some cannibalism. I've noticed that every year, there's a film or three featuring cannibalism quite prominently. I've already seen The French Guy, so this would be the second bit of cannibalism I've been treated to. It seems that in every 'fest, a little cannibalism must fall. You can quote me on that.
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Hiro : Overall rating = Fantastic!
At 20 minutes long, this short had enough story in it to fill a feature-length film. There's a car chase, no, two actually. One where the bike chases the car, and then one the other way around. Given the number of Japanese people in it, it's almost surprising that there's no fighting, no swords, and only one shot is fired. And it's still an excellent piece! That's a costume he's wearing, by the way. It's not a bad effects job or anything, it's just the main character wearing a costume. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It all makes sense when you watch it.
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Vancouver : Overall rating = Like COPS, but surreal.
Somewhat amusing, this is a couple of guys dressed as cops chasing kids around a dark gymnasium. Oh, and there's also an Eskimo. Which means "eater of raw fish" apparently. If you're getting the impression that it's a little surreal, you'd be right.