The Wayward Cloud
Japanese musical porn
Posted by: Task, September 18, 2005 04:57 PM
Friday, September 16 8:00 PM RYERSON
Again, the Visions program has decieved me! Will I never learn? I not only broke my rule of "avoid Visions programs" but also my "don't go to the Film Fest to see porn" rule. I should have gone to The Quiet instead. Why did I do this?
Well, I really though that this movie might be kind of interesting, some of the base concepts were really cool. Unfortunately, the director tried very hard to make it slow and dull instead. The movie itself, or at least certain parts of it, were fine: it was all the connecting bits that were excruciatingly bad to sit through. There was a "story" (such as it is) that was comprehensible, but it should have been a half-hour feature. So the monkey doesn't specifically go to the movie, but more to the director. Along the lines of "WTF were you thinking?!?".
I would dearly love to give this movie both a Bomb and a Monkey, but it was easy to see how it could be salvaged into something that wasn't complete and utter crap. Sections of the movie were actually enjoyable.
So what you do is you take out the musical numbers. They were actually fairly good, the one with the umbrellas was almost awesome, but they had little/nothing to do with the movie itself. So remove them entirely, use them as music videos or something. Those pieces are wholly salvageable on their own and not attached to anything. Next step, remove all the bits of the movie that aren't porn and burn them. Those bits were drawn out and painful. Like medieval torture.
End result: a short piece showcasing sex with water and melons. Somewhere out there, you know there's someone who would really enjoy it.
I'm afraid it might be just the writer/director though. *sigh*